One for the Money, Two for the Show
June 30th, 2009Susan was fast approaching 30 years old when she and her husband of several years chose to have their child before they both grew much older. Already, Susan had had a successful career the previous five years in a major Singaporean commercial real estate company, her first job out of university. Unique at the time in the late 1990′s, Susan had gone to university in Europe, where she said she spent the loneliest four years of her life. Then, another two years studying for a Master’s degree in the UK before returning to China to work. Though originally from Hunan province, she chose to work in Shanghai, even though her husband’s work kept him in Hunan province.
“My parents think I’ve been distracted long enough by the birth,” Susan told me in the lounge of a five-star international hotel in Shanghai. “You know, the time it took to carry the baby, and then the six months I spent at home with the baby.
“They think I’m wasting time in real estate, too, and that I should go into the financial sector.” She shifted in her chair, uncomfortable still from the hundred pounds she had gained when carrying the baby, but couldn’t shed. “All my classmates are in the financial industry, making a lot more money than I am.” I asked her if her parents wanted her to make the change for the prestige of being in the financial industry or just for the money. “Both,” she said, and chuckled.
“My father is a government official. He and my mother have always worked, always been doing something they felt was important. They’re workaholics, really. I wasn’t a boy, and I was the only child, so they want me to continue on with their wishes.” She rolled her eyes in the same way young Western women do when they find an idea or statement odd. “I like my job though. Marketing. But it’s such hard work. So don’t be surprised if the next time we meet I’m in the financial industry.” She took a sip of green tea, looked thoughtful.
I asked her if she felt any stress from the prospect of having to support her parents when they retired. She answered, “My father is already 60 years old. He’ll be leaving government soon, but he has no intention of retiring. He’s talking about consulting with companies that want to invest in Hunan and helping them with the government. He’ll never retire; and they never want to rely on me.”
“That sounds very unique,” I said, considering what her parents professed ran counter to what most Chinese family in the Mainland expected from their children. Many parents expect to live with children after their children marry, especially those in the countryside. In the larger cities, however, the living spaces are simply too small to afford multiple generations to live together. The pressure is less to support the parents’ everyday living in the larger cities, though the new grandmother might live with the couple for a few months until the wife is back on her feet.
“The most stressful thing right now is thinking about how to support the baby’s education. It’s going to be so expensive to get the baby the best education at the best schools.” She seemed to shudder at the thought. Her comment put me in mind of another discussion about education she and I had had the year before. We had been having lunch at a Cantonese restaurant in downtown Shanghai.
“Chinese parents,” she had said then, “do not give their children much choice in what they should study. The most important thing is studying for the examinations. The parents put a lot of pressure on careers that will bring in money the child can use to support the rest of the family.” This is an important point in light of the increasing burden a single child will have to carry as the the new century develops.
Children born after the One Child policy came into effect in 1980 now have an inverted demographic pyramid bearing down on their shoulders. The Chinese call it the 1-2-4 problem: One child is supporting two parents and four grandparents. Actually, when the parents have their own child, the equation extends outward just a bit more to become a 1-3-4-8 issue, with the man of the house the sole support of his nuclear family and parents on both sides of the family). Actually, when a son or daughter marries, and assuming both partners work, then the married couple just have a 2-3-4-8 challenge on their hands until relatives become ancestors. However you do the math it all sounds rather grim.
The strain will only become greater on young adults as in twenty years or so the elderly population explodes, with about 40% of the population over the age of 60. (We’ll call that the 40-60 problem). Very few children will have the luxury then of saying to their parents, “I want to be a poet,” Susan explained to me. They will have to early on become bread-winners to support a stable of relatives.
Including , one day perhaps, our Hunan-born, Western-educated, Shanghai resident, Susan herself.
Susan was fast approaching 30 years old when she and her husband of several years chose to have their child before they both grew much older. Already, Susan had had a successful career the previous five years in a major Singaporean commercial real estate company, her first job out of university. Unique at the time in the late 1990′s, Susan had gone to university in Europe, where she said she spent the loneliest four years of her life. Then, another two years studying for a Master’s degree in the UK before returning to China to work. Though originally from Hunan province, she chose to work in Shanghai, even though her husband’s work kept him in Hunan province.
“My parents think I’ve been distracted long enough by the birth,” Susan told me in the lounge of a five-star international hotel in Shanghai. “You know, the time it took to carry the baby, and then the six months I spent at home with the baby.
“They think I’m wasting time in real estate, too, and that I should go into the financial sector.” She shifted in her chair, uncomfortable still from the hundred pounds she had gained when carrying the baby, but couldn’t shed. “All my classmates are in the financial industry, making a lot more money than I am.” I asked her if her parents wanted her to make the change for the prestige of being in the financial industry or just for the money. “Both,” she said, and chuckled.
“My father is a government official. He and my mother have always worked, always been doing something they felt was important. They’re workaholics, really. I wasn’t a boy, and I was the only child, so they want me to continue on with their wishes.” She rolled her eyes in the same way young Western women do when they find an idea or statement odd. “I like my job though. Marketing. But it’s such hard work. So don’t be surprised if the next time we meet I’m in the financial industry.” She took a sip of green tea, looked thoughtful.
I asked her if she felt any stress from the prospect of having to support her parents when they retired. She answered, “My father is already 60 years old. He’ll be leaving government soon, but he has no intention of retiring. He’s talking about consulting with companies that want to invest in Hunan and helping them with the government. He’ll never retire; and they never want to rely on me.”
“That sounds very unique,” I said, considering what her parents professed ran counter to what most Chinese family in the Mainland expected from their children. Many parents expect to live with children after their children marry, especially those in the countryside. In the larger cities, however, the living spaces are simply too small to afford multiple generations to live together. The pressure is less to support the parents’ everyday living in the larger cities, though the new grandmother might live with the couple for a few months until the wife is back on her feet.
“The most stressful thing right now is thinking about how to support the baby’s education. It’s going to be so expensive to get the baby the best education at the best schools.” She seemed to shudder at the thought. Her comment put me in mind of another discussion about education she and I had had the year before. We had been having lunch at a Cantonese restaurant in downtown Shanghai.
“Chinese parents,” she had said then, “do not give their children much choice in what they should study. The most important thing is studying for the examinations. The parents put a lot of pressure on careers that will bring in money the child can use to support the rest of the family.” This is an important point in light of the increasing burden a single child will have to carry as the the new century develops.
Children born after the One Child policy came into effect in 1980 now have an inverted demographic pyramid bearing down on their shoulders. It’s called the 1-2-4 problem: One child is supporting two parents and four grandparents. Actually, when the parents have their own child, the equation extends outward just a bit more to become a 1-2-4-8 issue, with all the health care and education issues bound up in raising a child in China. Actually, when a son or daughter marries, then the married couple actually have a 1-2-4-8 issue on their hands until relatives become ancestors.
The strain will only become greater on the children as in twenty years or so the elderly population explodes, with about 40% of the population over the age of 60. (We’ll call that the 40-60 problem). Very few children will have the luxury then of saying to their parents, “I want to be a poet.” They will have to early on become bread-winners to support a stable of relatives.
Including ,one day perhaps, our Hunan-born, Western-educated, Shanghai resident, Susan.

